Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
I just found a bag of teeth...
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Randomize
