Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
