I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
Randomize
