You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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