oh god the rape fog is back!
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
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