office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
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