Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
