he wants to bone in the snuggie
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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