Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
