this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Randomize
