Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
