guys are only as good as the porn they watch
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
You need a sexual gate keeper
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
Boobs are out for the taking
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
