my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
im calling her cock vulture from now on
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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