I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
there was a trapeze. enough said
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
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