I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
Randomize
