google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
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