so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
Randomize
