it hurts more in the daytime
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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