My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
I deserve to be covered in dicks
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
I need water and some morals
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Randomize
