so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize