How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
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