he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
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