oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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