Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
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