so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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