he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
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