Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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