Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Randomize
