WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Randomize
