'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
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