Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
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