a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
Randomize
