Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
