I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Randomize
