so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
Randomize
