I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
