I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
Randomize
