Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
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