no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
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