Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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