Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Randomize
