I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize
