He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Randomize
