I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
