Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
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