is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
