just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
You did what with his pubic hair?
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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