I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Randomize
