well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
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