I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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